Roast Beef and Resistance

whenever i think about all the shit i need to get done i feel like i'm going to vomit
i hate looking at my inboxes
WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?
always with the procrastination and putting off of responsibilities

last night was the feminist salon
i'd say it was very successful
there was A LOT of food -- karina brought goodies from yabba pot
we talked and laughed the whole time, we felt bad for aggie in ITTY BITTY TITTY COMMITTEE
good movie, good soundtrack, lots of lesbian actresses
we played loaded questions, tig ol' bitties
after, i decided to stay the night with brie, sarah, and shawn
we watched shortbus
we had doritos and cupcakes for breakfast

its fucking beautiful outside

as for updates, i performed in the vagina monologues, it ruled
people cheered some nights for me
i realized during my piece about FGM my nipples were hard
i mean it was cold! and i was nervous!
oh well

on the last night we all went to bourban st for lesbian night
most of the chicks i know are gay, everybody i know loves women
i drank, for the first time in i dunno, months
i puked, it sucked
at least i waited till i got home and stayed safe otherwise
becca's phone got broke and her keys got locked in her car, she was completely sober, but when everyone else is freaking nuts and pretty shwasted then shit happens

oh, P.S. spring break pretty much sucked.
talk about the worst sinus issues ever
i have to reconsider surgery now, i spent more than half the break in fucking bed, hating my life and being completely unproductive
apparently i have a "complex deviated septum" it blocks off my sinuses on 2 sides resulting in my chronic sinusitis
i have to take nasal steroids
boo
lame

but the last 3 days of break ruled!
mass hysteri and max levine
15 mile bike ride to DC from CP with tim
Geppi's pop culture museum, tons of comics and laser guns

i'm really bad at trying to assert my independence without being mean
i should work on that
i hate being mean
but sometimes its easier than facing everything else thats wrong with me

I have the biggest crush on Eddie Izzard

8,886

eight thousand eight hundred eighty six
eight thousand eight hundred eighty six miles

i let my dependence go
maybe we can have a real friendship one day
once you respect me as a valid person

youre my willing suspension of disbelief
youre the only real person i know

the failed woman

always dies in the end of the movie
its inevitable

because her strength will not be over taken by tenoch's insecurities

I have not been strong and here and I live


hopefully a better life, things are looking up

Sweat Pants = Privilege

today was the multicultural conference

and today

i found out

sweatpants equals privilege

because if you don't have to care how you look if your probably not employed

and sweatpants in themselves are worn for comfort

and what is comfort? if not a privilege

privilege is an addiction, a habitus passed down through generations 

and it exists in many naturalized forms and easily takes presence without acknowledgment 

sweatpants equal privilege

inbox

its like i wasn't even there, as if i had no part in anything and the blanks were just being filled in by everything he wanted from me.

nothing much but a new year

i think I'm only writing right now because I'm at my parent's house and there isn't anywhere to sleep and this keyboard is different.

this is my first post in a significant amount of time and I'm not sure I've got anything relevant to say. my oldest cat is being particularly noisy. I'm waiting for my phone to buzz (not ring). the only messages I'm getting lately are from ex-lovers and boys who wish they were. oh, and Brian ward, who crushes everyone in a contest of character.

its a new year, new hopes, new dreams. I'm pretty terrified, but I'm happy to have 2008 behind me.