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Workkkkk

Delta Bingo

I'm not a winner.



But I still love playing with Leah and Sheri.

Mixing

Inks. I'll miss this.

From here on out, let it be known, I hate N.W.A. Public Enemy for life.

the most perfect scene

and a really good parallel of the end of you and me. especially the part where i kill you and you're ready to die.

"Excuse me,

Miss Activist
Can you do with ya hips what your lips do with politics?"

Unmake, Remake, Unmake, Remake.

I'm sorta glad no one keeps up blogspot anymore.
I mostly do this for myself I guess.

At this point in time. I am... very conflicted. VERY conflicted.
I thought I set myself free but there is so much still haunting me.

If only you would listen. If only you would listen.
If you don't. I might just disappear.
And there'd be so much more than you I'd be giving up. And it breaks my heart.

Who put these ghosts between us?

in other news...

fuck greg

RIP apt.

Taryn and I lived here for a year together pretty cheaply b/c they're tearing it down.

My bedroom.

I spy a naked boy.

ha

visit toothpastefordinner.com

In Response/Update

to my last post....
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Fuck.
Here's to two weeks of soul-sucking, bone-crushing work. Sleepless nights and the end of the semester.
You will not find someone happier on 5/18.

TO DO/DUE:
wmst 332- 3 to 5 page paper 5/8
" " - journal discussing all the readings throughout the semester 5/14
" " - exam 5/14
wmst 337- term paper (7-8 pages) 5/11
" " - exam 5/18
" " - event reviews 5/8
amst 201- exam & 3 page paper 5/15
" " - read One Who Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
clst 307 - project portfolio & presentation 5/14
anth 382- ethnographic film project 5/12
" " - media production journal discussing the entire course since jan. 5/12

You better believe I haven't started any of this. fml.
Plus an internship journal.

In other news...
I got hit by a car on my bike while going to class.
He just kinda waved at me perched inside his big ass SUV
I sped off shaking.
My knee kinda hurts. My fuji is fine.

Leah (my step mom)told Brian and Rachel at her birthday party (which was held at the Velvet Lounge in DC where former members of Black Market Baby played) that she could not love me more if I "came out of her own cunt!"
I stopped her from attempting to purchase drugs and got her friends phone numbers so she would not drive home drunk.
She turned 42!

Me, Rachel, Brian. Leah (left) and Susan (right). Apparently she made the documentary Punk's Not Dead.

Also, the first Beast Infection show ruled.


http://www.myspace.com/beastinfectionmd

Sucks McGruff

Shucks McGruff

Why is it that when my schedule becomes full of all kinds of fun things, is the same time I have a horrible, crushing, unbearable amount of work to do?!?!?!?!?
I just wanna have fun

"I can't cuss right now but your breathe smells like 8 cans of shark doodoo!"


sorry my colors are whack

if you love somebody: better set them on fire (aka: tonight)

I spoke to my sister today. she really wants to meet my dad. she keeps running away from home b/c she doesn't want to be sent to an institute to be diagnosed. thusly she has not kept up with her medications. she is bulimic, borderline schizophrenic, bi-polar, and doing drugs. she just got kicked out of school with second degree assault charges for beating up her boyfriend.

my father came home with ledo's pizza and a big bottle of Jose cuervo.

i tried interviewing Leah for my project but her dad talked her out of it.

today was a complete failure.

i left after my dad went out with super chuck.

tony is planting cherry trees and peach trees.

she really wants to meet my dad, she talks like a child, not a 16 yr old.

i told him that he cannot promise her anything that could not follow through on.

but he will anyway, just to make the situation easier for him to get through.

today Leah told me drugs ruin your life

today my father told me drugs ruin your life

hard drugs take years away from your life, take family away

take everything away

i thought i wasn't feeling anything, that it was just washing over me

and didn't mean anything to me

but it hurts

there is so much pressure on me

so much i wish i could record

To Do/Due:

Try not to shoot myself
make meetings about the zine with Melissa, Jaime, and Karina
buy the L-Word game
internship journal
media production journal
culture and creativity journal
MS walk (4/25)
go to the bank
pay my parking ticket
sew, dye, crochet, paint
read the yellow wallpaper, or at least find it
call ryan harvey
bring art supplies for homeless children to school
film Leah -- who's mania is worrying me
complete poster board for the Power Inside
Take Back the Night stuff
more and more and more and more schoolwork, as in: 3 projects, 2 10 page papers, and a fuck ton of readings

this probably isn't everything
barf

Roast Beef and Resistance

whenever i think about all the shit i need to get done i feel like i'm going to vomit
i hate looking at my inboxes
WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?
always with the procrastination and putting off of responsibilities

last night was the feminist salon
i'd say it was very successful
there was A LOT of food -- karina brought goodies from yabba pot
we talked and laughed the whole time, we felt bad for aggie in ITTY BITTY TITTY COMMITTEE
good movie, good soundtrack, lots of lesbian actresses
we played loaded questions, tig ol' bitties
after, i decided to stay the night with brie, sarah, and shawn
we watched shortbus
we had doritos and cupcakes for breakfast

its fucking beautiful outside

as for updates, i performed in the vagina monologues, it ruled
people cheered some nights for me
i realized during my piece about FGM my nipples were hard
i mean it was cold! and i was nervous!
oh well

on the last night we all went to bourban st for lesbian night
most of the chicks i know are gay, everybody i know loves women
i drank, for the first time in i dunno, months
i puked, it sucked
at least i waited till i got home and stayed safe otherwise
becca's phone got broke and her keys got locked in her car, she was completely sober, but when everyone else is freaking nuts and pretty shwasted then shit happens

oh, P.S. spring break pretty much sucked.
talk about the worst sinus issues ever
i have to reconsider surgery now, i spent more than half the break in fucking bed, hating my life and being completely unproductive
apparently i have a "complex deviated septum" it blocks off my sinuses on 2 sides resulting in my chronic sinusitis
i have to take nasal steroids
boo
lame

but the last 3 days of break ruled!
mass hysteri and max levine
15 mile bike ride to DC from CP with tim
Geppi's pop culture museum, tons of comics and laser guns

i'm really bad at trying to assert my independence without being mean
i should work on that
i hate being mean
but sometimes its easier than facing everything else thats wrong with me

I have the biggest crush on Eddie Izzard

8,886

eight thousand eight hundred eighty six
eight thousand eight hundred eighty six miles

i let my dependence go
maybe we can have a real friendship one day
once you respect me as a valid person

youre my willing suspension of disbelief
youre the only real person i know

the failed woman

always dies in the end of the movie
its inevitable

because her strength will not be over taken by tenoch's insecurities

I have not been strong and here and I live


hopefully a better life, things are looking up

Sweat Pants = Privilege

today was the multicultural conference

and today

i found out

sweatpants equals privilege

because if you don't have to care how you look if your probably not employed

and sweatpants in themselves are worn for comfort

and what is comfort? if not a privilege

privilege is an addiction, a habitus passed down through generations 

and it exists in many naturalized forms and easily takes presence without acknowledgment 

sweatpants equal privilege

inbox

its like i wasn't even there, as if i had no part in anything and the blanks were just being filled in by everything he wanted from me.

nothing much but a new year

i think I'm only writing right now because I'm at my parent's house and there isn't anywhere to sleep and this keyboard is different.

this is my first post in a significant amount of time and I'm not sure I've got anything relevant to say. my oldest cat is being particularly noisy. I'm waiting for my phone to buzz (not ring). the only messages I'm getting lately are from ex-lovers and boys who wish they were. oh, and Brian ward, who crushes everyone in a contest of character.

its a new year, new hopes, new dreams. I'm pretty terrified, but I'm happy to have 2008 behind me.